Perfect:

I want to share a revelation I received from the Man above.

I love a clean house. I don’t love it when someone comes over and there is a dirty dish in the sink or on the counter. I would prefer, quite honestly, for it to appear as if no one lives in my house. I want people to feel comfortable. (My dad always takes a nap on his visits and I take that as a huge compliment.) We host lots of slumber parties for family and friends and I want them to feel as if they are staying at a log resort in the woods. The bathroom towels are hung perfect, there is no alarm clock in the guest room (so guests can relax and sleep in), and it’s always nice and toasty warm by the wood stove. I have to have coffee going early in the morning. Mugs out, milk, honey, spoons, everything setting out, like a buffet at a hotel.  I rearrange things a lot and make sure every decoration is in the right spot. (I once got up from watching a movie to move a candle holder slightly to the left and my husband said “Are you serious?”)

I have been re-decorating the guest/spare room into an incredibly large walk-in closet and   office for myself. I get ready in here each morning with all my accessories within arms reach. (Don’t fret men; my husband has a spare room as well for his computer and music writing/playing accessories.)  My office/walk-in has become a sanctuary with my favorite colors of pink, mint green, and black. On the wall used to hang a huge framed print of a volcano, until yesterday.

While shopping at Hobby Lobby, the poster section called my name. Or was it the large 50% off sign? I thumbed through with no intention of buying a large poster. Till I found the “perfect” one.  A zoomed in photo of green vibrant leaves with a pink lotus flower. Hmm, pink and green? This was “perfect” for my office so I purchased it!

I took down the volcano to re-use the black glass frame. Thinking it was just an old poster frame, not one with screws and springs, I attempted to take it apart.  As I always do, I said a little prayer or just talked to the Man, and said, “Please let this go well.  I need your help to figure out how this frame goes back together when I am done.” I laid out the cardboard insert from the frame and placed my new photo upside down upon it.  I started to trim the edges of this “perfect” poster.  Everything was going smoothly. I slowly flipped the photo over, and to my surprise, it had somehow rubbed on the cardboard and some of the ink rubbed off in small sporadic patches. I was horrified. I wanted to run out and buy another one, but this had been so “perfect”, I had to use it. I put the frame back together, cutting my finger on the glass nonetheless, and hung it in my office.

In almost destroying my evening, with the thoughts it wasn’t “perfect” anymore, I had  this revelation:

Stop trying to have everything so perfect. If you try and achieve perfection in this house or your body, you will never achieve it, and always find disappointment.

Honestly, the thinner I get, I keep looking in the mirror at my imperfections. I don’t focus at all on the weight I have lost and my new muscles. I continuously look at the small love handles still above my hips, the cellulite on legs, and whatever else I can convince myself isn’t perfect. I don’t worry what people think about my personality being perfect because I don’t really care what people think about that. But my looks? I have to say I always wanted to look perfect. Maybe it’s a hairdresser thing?

So I ask you to learn from this (big Man’s) revelation and realize you can achieve many things and strive to be perfect in fitness. But when you get there, you will find something else that’s not perfect. You will forever move the line of perfection to something else and it will lead to disappointment.

So don’t strive to be “perfect”. Strive to be healthy and happy with where you are at and your accomplishments. My less-than-perfect picture will always remind me…… to just be.